2003-04-04 - 5:14 p.m.

Idiots, the Lot of Them...

"If I had my life to live over I'd dare to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax, I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans...If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have...I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies."

-Nadine Stair

I just really liked that quote today...

I think the boys in my life all have SARS... Stupid And Random Syndrome... Idiots, the lot of them... So, since I have not bitched about them in a while, here is the update:

The Wanna-Be Porn-King of Scottsdale -- Have not heard from him since I told him I was not going to ever like his bitchy girlfriend... Hmm, guess maybe I was the bitchy one, but he can't really expect me to, he was the one who originally told me he still had feelings for me... Am now thinking this may make things a bit weird in Vegas but oh well... His loss...

The Pill -- I guess things are okay there, just kind of weird, as usual... One really cool thing though, a friend of his owns the "Esmerelda" line of skin care products which he said were included in gift baskets for the MTV awards and some other awards show (I have never heard of them, has anyone else?? she also owns InkWax)... Anyway, he told her about my soap and she seemed interested... This could be a really good break if it works out... He still talks about me coming to visit but I have asked him repeatedly when his schedule is open... As a semi-unemployed girl, mine is pretty clear after Vegas, so you'd think he would be suggesting dates if he was serious... Whatever though...

The Boy That Made Me Kinda Hopeful a While Back -- Nothing new, still pretty much MIA... Well to me anyway... Whatever... His loss...

You know, I am thinking I may have to have that tattooed on my forehead or something... I certainly say, "his loss" a hell of a lot...

Albuquerque Boy -- He's been really busy working but is going to Utah to see some friends over Easter... I told him he should swing by Vegas but I really doubt that will happen, it's only extremely out of the way... Oh well...

Geez, for all these boys, you'd think I'd be getting some action but nope, nada... And last, but not least...

The Sociopathic Semi-Gay Ex-Preist -- Actually I talked to him for a couple of hours last night... He called and it was really really nice... Well, until I found out his mother died in January... But other than that, it was almost like it used to be, before he turned into such an ass... We laughed and teased each other... In answer to my capri pants dilema, he suggested I hem some, which as we all know is a ridiculous suggestion for the least domestic girl on the planet who barely even owns a needle and thread (hotel travel kit is it)... I made fun of his dental surgery, telling him he was going to look like the really toothy smiley from yahoo messenger... I also told him he was a dumbass, which he agreed with...

And then he was being a huge baby about being sick and I told him to call his mom and maybe she would make him soup and throw him a pity party... He said he wished he could... Thinking he was just too busy for that, I asked what she thought about the move to TN... That is when I found out about his mom... I can't believe he never told me about that...

And the really sad thing is that, just for a minute, I wondered if that was a big lie too... I'd like to think in spite of all his past bullshit, that even he would never say that unless it was true... But I still question everything... I mean I guess it is the smart thing to do, it's not like he never gave me any reason to question what he says... I just really hate being that way, being so suspicious and cynical... But I think I have to be right now where he is concerned...

He sounded pretty choked up when he told me about it... And if it is the truth, then I do feel very bad for him... She sounded like a really cool old broad, from what I had heard about her in the past... And while his asshole behavior was before all of that, so he can't use that as an excuse, it could certainly somewhat explain the quitting his job and stuff like that...

He may be coming to Vegas, he has not decided yet, so he says... I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing or even if I believe he might... He did leave me a really nice offline message this morning though... I'd like to think just maybe he is getting a clue... I'm certainly not counting on it though...

And I'm still not sure any of these boys are really The Boy for me... The one I thought had the most potential now looks the least likely of them all... The least likely moving up a bit... Of course it is not like I have a track record of good judgement on matters of the heart... But hey, I still have hope... That's gotta count for something...